Spirit of the Age
I've recently lost my grandmother. She passed away at the age of 76. I just arrived at the hospital when a few members of her church gave her her last sacrament, she was still alive then. Not 15 minutes later as I was rubbing her feet did she exhale her last breath. Sad, but knowing she suffers no more had given me solace.
What I wanted to share here is her love story. The love story of a woman, who like many of her peers back then, fought for independence in this country. She lived through a train accident which dragged her car containing her and her husband some hundreds of meter away only with some broken legs and well of course a totally broken car. She was widowed in the last 18 years only to find love in the last months of her life. Let me start from the beginning.
She married my grandfather not a decade more after Indonesia's independece. He was a handsome and charming commercial pilot. Yes, handsome. I saw a picture of him when he was younger, donning a pilot uniform and a slayer, in a very James Dean style :). She gave birth to my father, then another son, and a daughter. I suppose they were happy together at one point, but I couldn't get much details on this phase since my grandparents divorced after my parents got married and before I was born.
All I remember as I grew up and visiting my grandma's house is the memory of my step granddad. The best granddad I ever know. He would carry me on his back all the time, let me stood on his feet and walk me around the house. We would have a race on who'll finish the mangoes fastest. On days when he just got home from his flight, I would innocently and silently took him to the nearest bookstore and ask him to buy me crayons, drawing books etc., which he happily obliged, just to have my grandma and parents rolling their eyes when we got home cause I wasn't suppose to be bought all those things since, well, I've already have plenty in their house :D. Oh and yes, my step granddad was a pilot and he was my grandfather's best friend. He had never married before he marries my grandma. And suddenly he has 3 step children, 2 step daughter in-laws, 4 grandchild. And he couldnt have done his role better. I love him so much and thanks to him (without disrespecting my own grandfather) I know what it's like when you say spoiled by your grandparents. He retired in 1990, I was so excited because that means I'll get to see him more often. About a month after he retired, he hurt his back from moving things around the house. He was admitted to the hospital and unfortunately then and there, they found that he has lung cancer. He passed away six month later and he has never smoked a day in his life.
I recently chatted with my step granddad's daughter in law. We talked about my step granddad, and I just found out that apparently, he was already in love with my grandma before she marries my real grandfather. So let's say that my step granddad was a little too late. Yet he waited for her in patience, waited if any opportunity should appear. That or he knew my grandfather too well :). And he lived the rest of his past 6 months being cared by my grandma who never left his side at the hospital, knowing all too well that the 20+ years of waiting had been worth it.
Fast forward to June 2008. My grandma is diabetic since 15 years ago, and recently it has attack her sights and she needs to be admitted to the hospital. Everytime I visit her there is a certain fella who hung around also visiting her. I didn't think much of it. All I know is that he is an old friend from junior high school and after some 50 odd years had just reconnected with my grandma again. Her 76th birthday was the next month. She was out of the hospital, so she was having friends for lunch at her house. I took a few hours off from work to visit and hung around until all her friends had gone home. As I was going to go back to work, I noticed that the fella is still there, playing the organ with her. I looked at my dad at the moment and smile playfully asking could they be an item? My dad was laughing back at me and tapped me on my shoulders and said ,"Spirit of the age, honey.. Spirit o the age".
As I later discovered after my grandma had passed away, reports from her housemaid etc, they were actually an item! There were no mornings without phone calls that ends in i love yous ("awwww" chorus here haha) and when he visits her and they were left alone in the living room to hear some music, her housemaid reported that when she hears no signs of conversations she began to worry since both are old and needed to be checked from time to time, only to find they were slow dancing to the music. Slow dancing! I can't even remember any guy who took me for a slow dance in the last 5 years! (Yes, I'm feeling rahter sorry for myself at the moment). And I'm not even that old!! (insert argument here)
When she was admitted earlier last month, she got the exact room where my step granddad had died. Trauma and superstition had caught, making her uneasy. She was afraid that my step granddad would want to take her to eternity whilst she feels that her work here isn't finished. So we moved her to another room. To no avail. It was her time and that's that. Now that the tears had subsided a little, we all joke that my step granddad was not amused by this new lovebirds. He must have 'seen' this new boyfriend of hers when the fella visits her everyday and that sure had made him jealous. I guess he must've hold his foot down this time and told my grandma,
"Oh no Kati, you're coming with me this time, I'm not going to loose you again, not for eternity.."
-in loving memory-
What I wanted to share here is her love story. The love story of a woman, who like many of her peers back then, fought for independence in this country. She lived through a train accident which dragged her car containing her and her husband some hundreds of meter away only with some broken legs and well of course a totally broken car. She was widowed in the last 18 years only to find love in the last months of her life. Let me start from the beginning.
She married my grandfather not a decade more after Indonesia's independece. He was a handsome and charming commercial pilot. Yes, handsome. I saw a picture of him when he was younger, donning a pilot uniform and a slayer, in a very James Dean style :). She gave birth to my father, then another son, and a daughter. I suppose they were happy together at one point, but I couldn't get much details on this phase since my grandparents divorced after my parents got married and before I was born.
All I remember as I grew up and visiting my grandma's house is the memory of my step granddad. The best granddad I ever know. He would carry me on his back all the time, let me stood on his feet and walk me around the house. We would have a race on who'll finish the mangoes fastest. On days when he just got home from his flight, I would innocently and silently took him to the nearest bookstore and ask him to buy me crayons, drawing books etc., which he happily obliged, just to have my grandma and parents rolling their eyes when we got home cause I wasn't suppose to be bought all those things since, well, I've already have plenty in their house :D. Oh and yes, my step granddad was a pilot and he was my grandfather's best friend. He had never married before he marries my grandma. And suddenly he has 3 step children, 2 step daughter in-laws, 4 grandchild. And he couldnt have done his role better. I love him so much and thanks to him (without disrespecting my own grandfather) I know what it's like when you say spoiled by your grandparents. He retired in 1990, I was so excited because that means I'll get to see him more often. About a month after he retired, he hurt his back from moving things around the house. He was admitted to the hospital and unfortunately then and there, they found that he has lung cancer. He passed away six month later and he has never smoked a day in his life.
I recently chatted with my step granddad's daughter in law. We talked about my step granddad, and I just found out that apparently, he was already in love with my grandma before she marries my real grandfather. So let's say that my step granddad was a little too late. Yet he waited for her in patience, waited if any opportunity should appear. That or he knew my grandfather too well :). And he lived the rest of his past 6 months being cared by my grandma who never left his side at the hospital, knowing all too well that the 20+ years of waiting had been worth it.
Fast forward to June 2008. My grandma is diabetic since 15 years ago, and recently it has attack her sights and she needs to be admitted to the hospital. Everytime I visit her there is a certain fella who hung around also visiting her. I didn't think much of it. All I know is that he is an old friend from junior high school and after some 50 odd years had just reconnected with my grandma again. Her 76th birthday was the next month. She was out of the hospital, so she was having friends for lunch at her house. I took a few hours off from work to visit and hung around until all her friends had gone home. As I was going to go back to work, I noticed that the fella is still there, playing the organ with her. I looked at my dad at the moment and smile playfully asking could they be an item? My dad was laughing back at me and tapped me on my shoulders and said ,"Spirit of the age, honey.. Spirit o the age".
As I later discovered after my grandma had passed away, reports from her housemaid etc, they were actually an item! There were no mornings without phone calls that ends in i love yous ("awwww" chorus here haha) and when he visits her and they were left alone in the living room to hear some music, her housemaid reported that when she hears no signs of conversations she began to worry since both are old and needed to be checked from time to time, only to find they were slow dancing to the music. Slow dancing! I can't even remember any guy who took me for a slow dance in the last 5 years! (Yes, I'm feeling rahter sorry for myself at the moment). And I'm not even that old!! (insert argument here)
When she was admitted earlier last month, she got the exact room where my step granddad had died. Trauma and superstition had caught, making her uneasy. She was afraid that my step granddad would want to take her to eternity whilst she feels that her work here isn't finished. So we moved her to another room. To no avail. It was her time and that's that. Now that the tears had subsided a little, we all joke that my step granddad was not amused by this new lovebirds. He must have 'seen' this new boyfriend of hers when the fella visits her everyday and that sure had made him jealous. I guess he must've hold his foot down this time and told my grandma,
"Oh no Kati, you're coming with me this time, I'm not going to loose you again, not for eternity.."
-in loving memory-
Labels: Family
posted by Angela Adelia at
7:34 PM
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